When Breath Becomes Air- Review

I wept and wept, my heart couldn’t stop pounding as if my heart was coming out of my mouth, I didn’t anticipate that I would cry uncontrollably in a book store finishing the book I had started, this had happen once, reading a book and crying and I saw a couple I knew and they asked why was I crying? I didn’t have an answer and decided to buy the book and read in the comfort of my own space, save myself more embarrassment and I vowed I will never find myself in the same position again. 

This book chose me, I had never heard of this book before or seen it anywhere, yet I found it in my own hands, as I took it, I saw on the bottom of the front cover a review by New York Times . 

'Finishing this book and then forgetting about it is simply not an option...Unmissable' New York Times.

As I started reading, I was drawn to this book, I kept turning the pages I was amazed as book written by a neurosurgeon, I didn’t expect it to be so full and rich in vocabulary and the writer describing his love for literature, it resonated well with me as I’m also a lover of literature now everything else around me didn’t matter but this book. 

IT’S BOOK ABOUT DEATH, it’s a story of a neurosurgeon  Paul Kalanathi diagnosed with lung cancer, after diagnosis Paul and his wife decided to conceive and their baby daughter was born months before he died at the age of 37 . I couldn’t contain myself I sent few screenshots of the book to a friend and he said it must be sad book....the irony is that it’s a story about life, love, hope, courage, fear, dreams, religion, science, medicine and I also understood how doctor sees their patient, just as an organism. 

I had to put the book down as had to go home and the next day after work, started reading where I left of... as I was finishing the second section I was expecting more from the writer about his last days as his cancer progressed but I realised the next section is written by his wife Lucy Kalanathi...Paul was no longer able to write as the lung cancer progressed, the book was not complete but complete what an oxymoron. 

Before I could move to the last section written by Paul’s wife, I sob and sob as if I just heard one of my beloved family member has passed on, I couldn’t  stop crying at the book store, I tried to compose myself as I was in a public space and I wanted to finish the book, my eyes kept of getting blurry as the wife described the days that led to Paul’s death. It felt I was coming to terms with my own mortality as if I was the one dying, as much as it was heartbreaking and painful of a young man dying a slow or rather fast painful death , Paul was fortunate to know that soon he was going to die not someday, and had a chance to evaluate what’s more important to his life and adjusting his life according to what’s important to him after the diagnosis, unlike knowing someday one will die and putting things for tomorrow, for next week, to next year. Then everything becomes a sense of emergency knowing that death comes without knocking.

My Take 

What is the meaning of life? 

Is life the days or what’s in the days ? 

Why as human beings we illusioned by our own mortality as something that’s far away or maybe it’s terrifying to think ourselves as dying?

I feel if we always woke up with the sense of our mortality so many things that we think matter wouldn’t matter.

I think the important question to ask ourselves every morning is: If it was my last few days on earth will this matter? then making important decision becomes much more bearable.

We sometimes postpone living and waiting to start loving, forgiving, caring, sharing, giving, enjoying and appreciating the now moment for the future moment we not guaranteed.

I’m coming to a conclusion that no one is important not to die and no one is useless to die.

At the face of death life is worth more that material things, achieving, education, physical beauty, etc in the midst of dying and living how do you define the cause of your existence?.

This book overwhelmed me, it’s a must read to anyone who want to experience near death experience and be reminded about living with the sense of urgency and purpose.

Get this book, you will not remain the same!.